you can never really count on anyone.

 

i have learned over and over again that people will always disappoint you. No matter how sincere and honest a person is, they will always end up not holding their end of the bargain for you. We are all inately selfish. even the most down to earth philanthropist does things for himself. Which is why i dont want to work with people. i want to work on my own... but there is no such thing as working on your own... you will always have to rely on others for certain things... And there will always be one point in a relationship (professional or personal) that the other person will disappoint you. in my case, it happens all the time...

 

so i guess the best thing would be to keep distance... at all times... dont ask for committments, dont commit. just do your thing and let them do theirs. so that you dont disappoint them and they dont disappoint you.

been very busy for the past few days.
With work and other extracurricular activities...
i commented on a friends blog a few weeks ago about one of the irritating reasons that happen to bloggers when they stop blogging...

 

 

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i didnt really get a life. i just started hanging out more with friends. we went for a swim last saturday. i was ofcourse in a bikini...

 

underneath a sweater and pants...

 

then we have this on going project at work that created more responsibilities and obligations for me... i hope this spells 'increment' ... but i highly doubt that. i am just a tool... a tool that they can use... that they dont have to pay much...

 

that is just how much i am worth.

 

and what else? what else?
we also have 'the paranoia project' a Christian forum and blog that we are starting and trying to launch. i dont know if it will click, seeing that the most highly visited forums and blogs are about techie stuff or games or girlie stuff, but the intentions are good for these young Christians and i can do some spreading of good will myself...

 

and i have set deadlines for myself for this classes im taking... i need to get my classes done so i can move on to masterals...

 

then there are those starbucks moments after work you get to have with close friends...
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i do miss hanging out. i remember hanging out at burger king or mcdo along UN ave till they pushed us out the doors. we would just order the coke float and fries and talked. i remember having the ability to talk. i dont do that much anymore... i can write about my life but not talk... which is weird... i mean how weird is that?

 

i guess there really isnt much interesting stuff in my life worth sharing with other people.
i am completely uninteresting (correct term ba?)

 

 

how do you let go of someone that was never technically yours?

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the water was nice yesterday. did a lot of diving in the pool- a couple of belly flops, some pretty smooth ones and a whole lot of kamikazes... and now my muscles and joints hurt from all the acrobatics.

 

I went to work over the weekend. i didnt want to but i had to because our MD said he was leaving for a month and i had a couple of things i needed to organize for my department so that when he gets back we would have a head start. Im still uneasy about my job description though. ive got a lot lying on myhands and i have no idea what to do about it. sometimes the responsibilities overlap with each other that i have no idea what to prioritize.

 

But yesterday the last thing on my mind was work.

 

We had planned to go swimming about a month ago. and yesterday we finally got to do it. The weather was nice, the air warm and the water tolerably cold. The summer is about to begin and the past few days have been hell for the people of the UAE. The temperature is around 38 degrees average and i heard that that is the exact temperature in Manila... but for us, this is just the beginning and it could rise up to 48... anyway, we had a good turnout of people- some old friends and some new friends. and we had food courtesy of tita leny (who makes the BEST binagoongang baboy in the planet- no offense mom!). The guys were a lot of fun... the girls werent KJ. Chichi graced the event in a pink surfer suit (cutie). and i did my best to show off my (FL)abs.

 

It was a good day and a lot of friendship was strengthened because of this...

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I guess it really is much harder to let go of someone that was never yours.

 

is it because I have him in my dreams? or is it because he can never literally hurt me more because i am so used to getting hurt this way? that what is there to let go of?

my hard drive crashed and i lost most of my important data.

so... i kind of needed to hibernate for a while.

 

so im still hiberntaing...

but will update soon...