Rheytarded

trust His heart

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:53:00 GMT

Had a pretty interesting birthday... but one song rings in my mind... All things work for our good. Though sometimes we can't see how they could struggles that break our hearts in two sometimes blind us to the truth Our Father knows what's best for us His ways are not our own Though our pathways go dim and you just can't see Him Remember He's still on the throne God is too wise to be mistaken God is too good to be unkind So if you dont understand if you can't see His plan and if you can't trace His hand Trust His heart..

its my bday

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:59:15 GMT

and ill cry if i want to... happy bday to me.

stuff to do

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:08:58 GMT

monday night is usually pingpong night for the fiance and me. but since i just got better from a very bad case of asthma, he decided to work on our wedding instead... booriing... :)

i wanted the wedding out of town, away from the noise and gate crashers :). not that im a celebrity, but people have an annoying habit of not RSVPing and then changing their minds at the last minute because they have nothing to do... i also wanted a beach wedding where we had the beach as a background. but since we really could not afford a beach wedding out of town, we finally settled for a place we could afford.
its not really a bad looking place. actually, when i first attended an event in this restaurant, i fell in love with the glass walls overlooking a small boating lake. This restaurant happens to be inside one of the parks in the heart of Dubai, 5 minutes away from my house, so there's a lot of greenery. the only issue i had with the venue was that i referred a friend of mine to get married at this same place a year ago. i dont know whats wrong with me, but i just wanted something different...

anyway, the owner being a friend of mine, gave me a good deal and promised to help me out big time.

fiance just wanted to get the issue about the venue settled. i was a little hesitant but after discussing where we could have the ceremony inside the park, i finally decided to go for it. we really needed to have a venue to start preparing for the other issues like flowers and stuff... we have less than 4 months to go.

now i need to start working on my invites...

sleepyhead

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:12:53 GMT

Its my first day back to work and i spent roughly 2 hours clearing up my inbox. Though i have read most of myemails while i was sick at home, i procrastinated replying to most of them.
So today, i had to address quite a number of pending issues which got me preoccuppied a good part of the day.

Things slowed down after 12 though, and i foudn myself yearning for a nap.
however, instead of getting that nap during my lunch break, i went to eat chicken instead.

i drank my meds and now its 4:17 pm and i just want to sleep.

i miss my bed...

restless day

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:35:10 GMT

i woke up at 8:30 today. not my typical saturday morning schedule. usually, i would sleep till 12 in the afternoon but today i woke up early because ive had too much rest the past few days... its already 4 pm and the only productive thing that i accomplished today was go to my tutorials that i didnt get to go to for two sessions because of my asthma. i coughed in her face most of the time but we got through two subjects, did a lot of brain storming and i gave her ideas on her assignments. i enjoy my tutorials. it doesnt pay much but the extra money is needed and i get to brush up on my math and english basics. wished i could do more tutorials... so that i can afford the wedding that i want. last night i made a couple of earrings that i want to sell. i hope i can sell them soon. i also have the clickincloset stuff... which i hanvet touched for a while. i think i should work on those today... anyhoo. i dont have plans anymore. i thought i did, but it looks like somoene is getting tired of me.

wasted time

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:02:57 GMT

i have done a lot of very bad investments in the past 5 years- emotional, monetary, time, and intellection. I have resolved to make amends but to no avail, i am still where i was five years ago- NOWHERE. i have tried to start a band, start a blog, run a business, try to teach, take up classes, lose weight, join the marathon, stop eating rice, learn tchaikovsky's four seasons (autumn) on the violin, master my classical guitar, sell handmade jewellery, water color, sketch, design my webpage, work on my portfolio, learn to speak french, arabic, german, practice pingpong, clean up my wardrobe, maintain my eyebrows, take up driving lessons, control my impulsive shopping, get rid of my credit cards, get out of debt, move to another country, practice my piano everyday, etc etc... i have not accomplished anything at all... what sucks is, i dont know what i really want anymore... im suppose to be planning a wedding that will be happening in 120 days, but i cant seem to put my nose into what i want... do i really want an ok wedding? am i stupid to want a nice wedding? is it really worth the time and effort to pretend that im okay with just a mediocre wedding? or should i just say, no lets stop kidding ourselves... i can live without a wedding... phooey. ill just wear my wedding gown to work.

my last entry

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:38:41 GMT

its been almost two months since i last blogged...
this is how i am...
i disappear...
then resurface...
then dwindle down...
keep quiet for a while...
and then go back...

hopefully this time its for keeps...

http://www.rheytarded.com

i just love

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:15:30 GMT

i am 'there' once again�

'there' in my dictionary means that place where I want to be but having second thoughts of being because of fear that its too much of a risk�

'there' is a sky dive- the thought of jumping is exhilirating, you know that the part where you are flying through mid air would be an out of this world experience, but the part where you are about to make that leap, that is the scariest� you know you are not going to die� but you think anything could go wrong� that the experience might not be worth it, although you know deep in your hear that IT IS worth it� but you freeze until that one person who's going to take that leap with you takes you by the hand and tells you to jump� and you do� and you scream your lungs out� but you don't die� you just fly�.

'there' is that silent moment before the first kiss� you want to lean forward but you don't want to come out as cheap. You know he wants to kiss you. But he doesn't want to be aggressive. You're holding hands and the grip is tighter� until your eyes finally meet and agree that it is time� then your lips touch for the first time and you just melt�

'there' is that period before making the decision where you calculate your risks... although you have made up your mind and you know that you are going to do the right thing, you just want to assure yourself that the profit will be more valuable than the losses...

i am 'there' once again. i have made up my mind and allowed myself to be in the position where all i can do is move forward and take the leap... and yes, i do have someone holding my hand... there are moments when im still uncertain, but i know i am going to move forward...

i need to blog more

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 22:25:48 GMT

i havent been blogging because... i am always at a loss for words... which is one of the reasons why i love deirdre's page. i can relate to her inner battles so well...

anyway, i want to keep posting though. until i find my zeal to keep doing it again...
so what im gonna do is just put any stuff as long as i get to post...

today i posted this on the friendster bulletin board...

From:	Pogi
Date:	Sunday, 28 October, 2007 6:15 PM
Subject:	woohoowee
	1) What is the hardest feeling for you? - uncertainty.... but life is always uncertain. hence, i live in difficulty everyday. 2) What do you want to receive on your birthday? - uhm nothing really. i just want to spend some time with loved ones. 3) Reach your hand out to the right. What do you touch? - tissue box. 4) What time did you sleep last night? - around 1 am. 5) What's the wallpaper on your computer? - flowers :) 6) What can you hear besides the computer? - crowded house :) 7) Do you agree to the saying "to Forgive is to forget?" - yes. if you havent really forgotten, then you havent forgiven. it isnt what was done that was forgotten, but the hate or anger felt when the deed was done... 8) When, where was the last time tears started to roll down your cheek? - when i missed ayatot. 9) What/who makes you happy? - knowing that i am loved... 10) What makes you sad? - knowing that the person i love is far awayor doesnt not love me back. or the feeling of helplessnes... 11) What are your favorite books? - so many. right now, where rainbows end and last days of summer. 12) What would you like to have right at this moment which seems totally impossible? - an IMAC... or magkita na kami finally. 13) Who will you turn to if you have a huge prob? - prayer, then my close friends... or mymom. 14) What's your favorite song at the moment? - hate that i love you... dahil kay fog! 1 5) What was the last song that kept ringing on your mind last night before you sleep? - hate that i love you din.. lol 16) What was the best event that happened last year? - i didnt get the chance to party last year...lol.. . ah yung overnight Christmas party sa church. hehehe 17) Where did you go today? - work. 18) Last thing you ate? - fruits 19) Who were you with yesterday? Were they cool? - i w as with my neice the entire morning then the abantes, nacions, me parents, te leny for dinner. they're pretty cool. 20) Have you gone to the beach just w/ your buddies? - yeah. loads of fun 21) Do you love sunsets? - yes. i love the sunrise too. 22) When is your b-day - oct 16 23) What are your wishes for your birthday? - harsher punishment for parole violators 24) Who do you wanna be w/ on the day of your birthday? - loved ones. 25) Have you ever felt that you've been taken for granted? - sometimes. but then i get knocked into reality and see that i am surrounded by people who love me... 26) thing/s you regret? - there are a lot of things that i wished i didnt do, or didnt happen, but then i wouldnt be where i am right now if it werent for these things. 27) Is there anything else you want to do besides answering this survey? - yes!!! i wanna go to my room. 28) What's the most important sentence/s that lingers in your mind right now? - rachel, i .... u. 2 9) cookies n' cream or double dutch? - double dutch 30) Chocolate cake or brazo de mercedes? - cheese cake? 33) fave cartoon character? - flounder 34) Do you know how to play the guitar? - im coping 35 ) Who's the last person you texted? - carol 36) how do you feel right now? - overwhelmed 3 7)what's your plan next week? - take some time off. 38) missing someone? - yeah. 39) what's her/his role in your life? - he is my ray of sunshine. 40) did u hurt somebody in the past? - siguro madami na din. 41) the person who loves u most or the person u love most.? - the person who loves me most. 42) in a rel., rebound, dating, single,wh atever? - im single but im not available... 43) describe urself. - ordinary girl with simple dreams... to become the president of the united arab emirates. lol

26 years on planet earth

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 09:44:39 GMT

thank you to everyone who greeted me yesterday. i hate birthdays. because you build up the anticipation of having a perfect day and then when the exact day comes, nothing happens...

i spent my lunch break all by myself (with work and a 15 min nap) and then had dinner with the family.

and got a couple of gifts from dear friends who love me. :)

but what i love about birthdays is that the minute the clock strikes 12, and the very first minute of the day, someone makes sure that they let you know you are loved, and someone is sure to tell you that you are special until the last minute...

that i appreciate... and yesterday i just couldnt keep count of the number of people who made me feel loved...

so happy bday to me! :D